1. |
So Many Options
00:35
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Well there’s mushy and hard ones
And of course Daughtingham ones
You know that ones that are green
When you have diarrhea and it’s.. juicy
Go to your doctor if your poop is a Sagger
Because it’s tinted and gray
If you eat lots of candy with a nice glass of brandy,
You might see a colorful poop
And there’s so many options that we just can’t decide which one to eat
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2. |
Vitamin THC
01:22
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When I was young I didn’t smoke pot
That was back when I was an idiot
I later saw the light and whatnot
So now I get high whenever I want
Give weed to your kids
It’s not a drug it’s a vitamin
Weed is essential to function
I used to think pot was for pricks
Now I know it’s for people who rock and shit
I’ll never buy it on my own
But I’ll partake any time it’s shown
Give weed to your kids
It’s not a drug it’s a vitamin
Weed is essential to function
If you don’t personally like pot, that’s fine
But if you judge people who get high,
You’re a fuckin’ dipshit go die
Give weed to your kids
It’s not a drug it’s a vitamin
Weed is essential to function
Give weed to your kids
It’s not a drug it’s a vitamin
It’s not a drug it’s a vitamin
It’s not a drug it’s a vitamin
It’s not a drug it’s a vitamin
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3. |
Fart Mask
01:26
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Bought a fart mask, gonna try it out
Goes on over nose and mouth
The other end goes on my ass
Then I let out some smelly gas
Travels up the fuckin’ pipe
I can feel my head getting light
Who would ever choose to do weed or crack
When you can get high off a fart mask?
Fart mask fart mask fart mask fart mask fart mask fart mask
Take the mask off my head and stare
Some smell still left up in the air
I think about it for a day or so
Throw the mask back on and away I go
This is a pleasure I love to obtain
I feel the fart vapors in my brain
One time I passed out for a bit
When I took a fart mask shit
Fart mask fart mask fart mask fart mask fart mask fart mask
Oooh yeaah, fart mask..
Oooh yeeah, fart mask..
Fart mask..
It’s a fuckin’ fart mask..
Yeeaahh..
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4. |
Illogically Logical
02:35
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I always win in every argument I have
My logic is bullet proof, man
Nothing anyone says can defeat my brain
So the best thing that you can do is turn around
And walk the other way
When I was little I made a rule
The person who finds the glass bottle is the one who gets to break it
Then my friend found one, but I took it
"Hey I found that!"
Yeah well I touched it first
That's just a minor example
But the basic concept you need to know
I get to make up rules as I go along
I can go through red lights if there's not much traffic
I'll just tell the cop
It's okay. I'm Corey so I'm justified
The light doesn't fully apply to me
"Oh by all means, sir. Please proceed."
If I make big splashes in the swimming pool
And some kid's parents get pissed as if I broke a rule
It's like
I've been swimming a lot longer than your kids
I've been doing cannon balls my whole life
So get your own fuckin’ pool if you have a problem with it
Don't take away my happiness in life
I'm so free
I can leave anything where I please
"Corey put that away."
Uh, naah, I'm probably gonna leave it where it is
"Oh, ok!"
I'm such a good man
I can take whatever I want from anyone's hands
"Hey that's mine!"
Ah it's fine I took it so it's mine now.
But I'll be nice this time. I'll give it back it to you
What a nice guy I am for returning that other person's thing
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5. |
Rum Nog Port
01:56
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Let’s take pictures of
Ourselves looking fucked up in the sword
We try not to laugh, but it’s fucking hard
I was going to bed, heard my cat Indie
Batting at something that squeaks
Turns out it was a mouse in my god damn house
My cat is finally a man today
Let’s take pictures of
Ourselves looking fucked up in the sword
We try not to laugh, but it’s fucking hard
Corey shows me all
The ladies that he saw
That he finds to be attractive
He doesn’t women who’s ribcages are showin’
He tries to show me them by searching google for “Rib Cage Girls”
Let’s take pictures of
Ourselves looking fucked up in the sword
We try not to laugh, but it’s fucking hard
I’m not gonna spit out my water
I’m not gonna choke on my food
When I fuckin’ laugh about this rum nog port
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6. |
Traditional Lager
02:25
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There’s some beer in the fridge if ya want!
It’s been a long-ass day at work
Need to fuckin’ relax and unwind
Beer is the only thing on my mind
All your problems drift away
While you’re drinkin’ a sixer or twelve
Whatever the amount, it fuckin’ rocks and shit
So this is our praise to beer
All we really need to say is beer rules
But fuck that we got a whole song here
So please under-fuckin-stand how much beer rules
My dad let me sip beer when I was 5
I knew that would make me a man
It helped me so much I’m fucking glad
I drink beer a lot nowadays
It kicks more ass than I can say
So I’ll just keep drinkin’ it, fuckin’ a
So this is our praise to beer
All we really need to say is beer rules
But fuck that we got a whole song here
So please under-fuckin-stand how much beer rules
Man, I need a beer..
So this is our praise to beer
All we really need to say is beer rules
But fuck that we got a whole song here
So please under-fuckin-stand how much beer rules
So this is our praise to beer
All we really need to say is beer rules
But fuck that we got a whole song here
So please under-fuckin-stand how much beer rules
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7. |
Alcoholic Jesus
01:28
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Drivin’ down the road and I’m hammered as shit
Swervin’ all over, who cares who I hit
I’ve been drinkin’ all god damn night
But I duh Jesus I’m feelin’ alright…
Alcoholic Jesus
Alcoholic Jesus
Alcoholic Jesus
Goin’ to the job and I’ve been dirkin’ a lot
If anyone questions they’re gonna get shot
Boss comes in and says are you fuckin’ pissed
Only at you, you god damn monkey fuck shit
Alcoholic Jesus
Alcoholic Jesus
Alcoholic Jesus
You see, Jesus’ blood actually is wine, which is 11% alcohol
Can you imagine if your blood was 11% alcohol?
You’d be pretty god damn drunk
Jesus…
My parents dragged me into to church on Sunday
But I have a flask hidden on my right leg
Now I’m wasted and feelin’ fine
Just like Jesus with his blood of wine
Alcoholic Jesus
Alcoholic Jesus
Alcoholic Jesus
Alcoholic Jesus
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8. |
You Are A Piece of Shit
00:52
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Fuck you!
You piece of shit
I’m better than you in every possible way, you fuck
I am fucking sick of your stupid face
You suck, I’m awesome, fuck you, you piece of shit
GOD you’re just such a piece of fuckin’ SHIT
You’re so fuckin’ ugly and you stink and you can’t do anything right
Every time I see you I fucking hate life
You’re pretty much the worst god damn person to ever walk in my field of vision
You are a piece of shit
You are a piece of shit
You are a piece of shit
You are a piece of shit
You are a piece of shit
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9. |
Who Says
01:52
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Who says that video game geeks never get laid
What a crock of shit, what a crock of shit
Who says that you can’t like both dogs and cats
What a crock of shit, what a crock of shit
Too many people have simple brains
Oh well, the joke’s on them
You think 40 hours a week’s the only way to live?
I’ll do it for now but I don’t believe that shit
You think you’re the authority of healthy food?
You’re up your own ass and you’re full of shit
Too many people have simple brains
Oh well, the joke’s on them
So many rules to meet your standards
It’s all bullshit, it’s all bullshit
Fuck your rules and fuck your standards
It’s all bullshit, it’s all bullshit
What a crock of shit, what a crock of shit
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10. |
Bearings
00:26
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Playing video games and I keep fucking dying
God fucking damnit I need to get my bearings
I need to take a fucking second to get on my feet
So fuck the fuck off and let me stabilize myself
Trying to beat this level on Donkey Kong Country
But every fuckin’ time I fall in the same spot
This bullshit has to fuckin’ stop
I gotta get my bearings and concentrate and shit
BEARINGS!
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11. |
My Asshole Is An Asshole
01:15
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Every time I try to take a quick shit
I have to deal with fifteen minutes time
Asshole asshole can’t go fast enough
Losing my god damned mind
I was getting my fuck on
My asshole let out a righteous fart
My girlfriend vomited all over the place
She said my asshole broke her heart
Broke her heart? You son of a bitch!
Yeah my asshole is an asshole
It’s a jerk and won’t let me be
And if I had the chance
And the proper finance
I’d replace it with a brand new asshole
All the people I know
Know I’m the guy with the asshole asshole
They think I fucking smell like shit
Why can’t they see my ass is a troll
My ass is a troll.. it’s trollin’ me
My asshole is an asshole
It’s a jerk and won’t let me be
And if I had the chance
And the proper finance
I’d replace it with a brand new asshole
I’d replace it with a brand new asshole
I’d take my asshole and replace it with a brand new motherfuckin’ spankin’ new asshole
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12. |
Sne-Lik
01:30
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Telsa has a black panther
His name is Sne-Lik
She goes into the woods with him
He protects her from dangerous shit
Sne-Lik resembles a black cat
But he's much bigger than that
Sne-Lik immediately trusts C.K.
There's just something about that guy
Animals respond to him
As if they can see his soul
They know that he's the one
Who will help liberate the world
Telsa has a black panther
His name is Sne-Lik
She goes into the woods with him
He protects her from dangerous shit
Sne-Lik uses mana a little bit
But since he's an animal he doesn't know how to use it
But he has this automatic ability to know a foe
There's just this keenness he shows
He is loyal and loving to his friends
But he kills enemies viciously
That's how he will help in liberating
The world from Neo Reed
Telsa has a black panther
His name is Sne-Lik
She goes into the woods with him
He protects her from dangerous shit
That's Sne-Lik
Heh.. that’s Sne-Lik
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13. |
Dry Chicken
01:02
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I’m a little unhappy about my chicken today
You see, normally chicken rules
But this time shit didn’t go my way
It’s dry
Dry chicken
Dry chicken
Dry chicken
Hope next time my chicken is moist
You see, that’s when chicken rules
Next time I won’t have to make noise
But not it’s dry
Dry chicken
Dry chicken
Dry chicken
I’m not eating any more of this dry chicken, nope
Ain’t eating any more of this dry chicken, no. No. NO. NO!
Dry chicken
Dry chicken
Dry chicken
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14. |
Holly Pox Freak
01:15
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Let’s all hang out with Holly Pox Freak
She’s a cool chick, I think you’ll agree
But you gotta be careful, ‘cause she’s a freak
Holly Pox Freak
When I’m bored I call Holly Pox Freak
We play video games and have sex, you see
But I gotta be careful, ‘cause she’s a freak
Holly Pox Freak
You should never take anyone else’s ideas
You should always come up with your own thing every time
That’s the lesson that we can all take away
From Holly Pox Freak
ollyollyollhollyollyollyholly
Holly
Pox
Freak
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15. |
Diarrhea Juice Poop
00:44
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Diarrhea juice poop
Diarrhea juice poop
Diarrhea juice poop
Diarrhea juice poop
Diarrhea juice poop
Diarrhea juice poop
Diarrhea juice poop
Diarrhea juice poop
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16. |
I Miss Solid Poop
01:20
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I haven’t had solid poop for weeks
I’m a little upset and feelin’ weak
Whenever I go to the toilet it’s liquid
There are small solid chunks but mostly liquid
I’m sick of shitting juice
Time to eat fiber I think
Soon I will have regular poop
So don’t do anything that will jinx
I haven’t changed a god damn thing
I’m still upset at this liquid shitting
I’m not responsible for my diet at all
Still shitting liquid is clearly not my fault
I’m just going to shit more juice
Too lazy to change my ways
I will never again have regular poop
Looks like liquid juice and shit ‘till the end of my days
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17. |
Realize
01:16
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I was eating dinner last night
And I came upon a horrible fright
My whole meal was replaced with shit
I ate a lot before I realized it
I never realized someone hated me enough to look in my eyes
And say
I put real food on your plate
But it ain’t food, it is shit
I put real food on your plate
But it ain’t food, it is shit
This ain’t the first time this happened to me
Just the other week I was eating ice cream
And I realized much too late
That it was bird shit parfait
I never realized someone hated me enough to look in my eyes
And say hey
I just took a shit on your plate
Bird shit bird shit on my plate
I fuckin’ hate you, you stupid dick
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
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18. |
Laying Around
01:39
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Heheh.. yeah
Lately I’ve been happier for a simple reason
My laziness has gone up the past few seasons
One day I laid in bed ‘til 9PM
It was fucking awesome
John was like,
“Uuuhh hey, you wanna order a pizza or somethin’?”
Shit yeah!
All week I’ve been laying around doing nothing
I’ve been scratching my nutsack or something
When my nutsack was dirty
I scratched it and it was worthy
I was like,
Oh man my nutsack has a strange film on it
Heh, uh.. yeah.. heh
This week is a week for the history of this land
My laziness, junk food, alcohol, pot and this band
My smelly nutsack played a role in this as well
So if you don’t like my nutsack, you can go to hell
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19. |
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Alright, this time I’m not gonna fuck it up
Throughout the history of our nation
All the presidents have one thing in common
Their big saggy sacks hang between their legs
And stink up the oval office
Abraham Lincoln’s nuts were strong and brave
His sack could withstand the nastiest blows
George Washington never gave his nuts a shave
Those hairy ass nuts were his to show
John Kennedy's nuts died before their time
Someone must have hated his sackly stench
I bet Bush's nutsack smells worse than mine
How far can his wrinkly-ass nutsack can stretch
Well we finally have a president that's black
And in our opinion he kicks ass
But we just realized the fact
The president has a nutsack
The president has a nutsack
The president has a nutsack
The president has a nutsack
The president has a nutsack
The president has a nutsack
The president has a nutsack
The president has a nutsack
The president has a nutsack
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20. |
Cat Shit Stink
00:57
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My cat Indie is a fuckin’ awesome cat
But when he takes a shit it smells so bad
I try to tell him to clean up after himself
But he ignores my request and shits some more
All I fuckin’ smell is my cat shit stink
My cat’s fuckin’ shit stinks up the place
I wish my cat would learn some manners
And stop stinking up the house
My cat Rosie is a fine young lady
But when she farts it’s like eight year old gravy
I almost puke when I smell that shit
But she won’t be polite and apologize
All I fuckin’ smell is my cat shit stink
My cat’s fuckin’ shit stinks up the place
I wish my cat would learn some manners
And stop stinking up the house
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21. |
Densely Packed
01:00
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Let’s get fat
Let’s eat so much that our pants don’t fit
Let’s stuff our faces with tons of shit
And not really give a fuckin’ god damn shit
Let’s get huge
Let’s eat enough lasagna for two
Let’s order a meal and then another meal
Way too much fuckin’ food
Let’s get thick
Let’s eat every fuckin’ breadstick
Way more than everyone else
Until we throw up our sick
Let’s get plump
Let’s make our bodies into a dump
Let’s go to a buffet and clean the place out
Fuck being a thin chump
Because life is much better when you let yourself go
Do what you want with no consequence
Be happy eating ‘til you cannot
And then shitting out a huge-ass brick of shit
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22. |
Don't Skip
00:29
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Doododoodododoododoo
Bebhhebehhebhebbhebhebh
Diahhrea juice poop
Doododoodododoododoo
Bebhhebehhebhebbhebhebh
Penis
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23. |
Titties
03:24
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This world is beautiful and I think I know why
You might agree with me if you’re lesbian or bi
And definitely straight guy
I’m talkin’ titties
Titties are bouncin’ and titties are shakin’ and titties are flyin’ free
Titties are there to make the world a more beautiful place for you and me
Titties are tasty some titties wear pasties titties are two of a kind
Titties are beacons in the dark, dark night that give you peace of mind
I’m talkin’ titties
Talkin’ about ‘em
I’m talkin’ titties
Talkin’ about ‘em
Ya know, Some titties are small some titties are large some tower over the girl
And I once seen titties big enough to feed every cryin’ baby in the whole wide world
Titties are pretty, wet titties are slippery you’ve been bathin’ them titties with soap
Girl let out your titties and let me see them orbs and maybe even sneak a grope
I’m talkin’ titties
Talkin’ about ‘em
I’m talkin’ titties
Talkin’ about ‘em
SO MANY TITTIES!
So the moral of the story is if you’re feelin’ down don’t pity your life tonight
Try and find some titties to look at or feel and you’ll be doin’ damn alright
If you been thinkin’ that life’s not worth livin’ and you just wanna die
I gotta tell ya about the titties that saved my fuckin’ life
I’m talkin’ titties
Talkin’ about ‘em
I’m talkin’ titties
Talkin’ about ‘em
I’m talkin’ titties
Talkin’ about ‘em
I’m talkin’ titties
Titties
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24. |
Three Red Powders
01:46
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Paprika, chili powder, cayenne pepper
These are what I live my life for
They make lots of food taste better
I need some fuckin’ more
I put them on everything, figuratively speaking
‘Cause I don’t put them on shit like cake
And god damn pie and ice cream
Paprika, chili powder, cayenne pepper
If you don’t like them, you’re a fuckin’ whore
They make lots of food taste better
Yeah they fuckin’ rock
Chicken wings, burgers, tenders and fries
Chicken wings, burgers, tenders and fries
Chicken wings, burgers, tenders and fries
There’s a bunch of other shit I can fry
‘Cause this is what I live my life for
Paprika, chili powder, cayenne pepper
If you don’t like them, you’re a fuckin’ whore
They make lots of food taste better
Yeah they fuckin’ rock
Paprika, chili powder, cayenne pepper
If you don’t like them, you’re a fuckin’ whore
They make lots of food taste better
Yeah they fuckin’ rock
I need some fuckin’ more
Yeah they fuckin’ rock
Yeah they fuckin’ rock
Yeah they fuckin’ rock
Put them on your god damn food you jackass
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25. |
Upper Class Hat
02:24
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When I am older I will have a bowler hat
With an expensive peacock feather sticking out the back
I will smoke from only the fanciest pipes
And drink whiskey from the classiest bottle I can find
You can tell I'm important, I've got an upper class hat
You can tell I'm amazing by the classiness of my hat
It's fucking awesome being so upper fucking class
Upper fucking class
Later in life my belly will increase in size
It's fitting for all the time I'll spend on the grill outside
My grill, belly, hat, and burgers have class
Then all this classy shit will make me kick more ass
You can tell I'm important, I've got an upper class hat
You can tell I'm amazing by the classiness of the hat
It's so fucking awesome being so fucking upper fucking class
Upper fucking class
Man, being upper class is amazing
Yeah we’re all fuckin’ noble and shit
Yeah we’ve got tons of fuckin’ cash
I fuckin’ love having money
Yeah grilling burgers and fuckin’ hanging out all day
We’re so much better than people that have less than us
And when we ride boats, we totally wear our hats
You can tell I'm important, I've got an upper class hat
You can tell I'm amazing by the classiness of my hat
It's fucking awesome being so upper fucking class
Upper fucking class
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26. |
Nutsack Forest
07:00
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In my forest there are nutsack trees
All the nutsacks hang like leaves
There are all so nutsack weeds
And nutsack animals that they feed
In my forest there are nutsack rabbits
They eat the nutsack carrots
There are also nutsack foxes in there
They’ll eat your nutsack if you stare
The nutsack forest is a place of glory
So listen to my story
The rest of the world tried to burn it down
But we don’t fuck around
We destroyed all of our enemies after that
Long live the godly forest made of nads
On my planet there are nutsack shrines
All of them are fucking mine
There are also nutsack caves
With nutsack crystals that we save
On my planet there are nutsack monuments
They symbolize all the nutsack conquests
There are also nutsack presidents
They’re just as nutsackly as the residents
The nutsack planet is a place of peace
So listen to me please
The rest of the universe tried to blow it up
But we said shut the fuck up
We always destroy our enemies and sit back
To enjoy creating this universe made of nutsacks
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Scrottum Rochester, New York
Scrottum is Corey and Max
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